Alive and Unbroken
by 3DBABE1999
Summary: Sometimes that's all Sam Winchester gets to have... And sometimes he can't have even that... SPOILERS for Season 10 Episode 19 and possibly beyond, rest of the WARNINGS inside..
1. Chapter 1

"Alive and Unbroken."

_-Sometimes that's all Sam Winchester gets to have... And sometimes he can't have even that..._

**A/N:**__Holy crap... It's been almost a YEAR since I last Posted (or Updated (so very, very sorry for all those following any of my (still) Unfinished Works) ANYTHING.. and No, I take no pleasure in knowing that I've kept patient readers waiting for so long... So, here's a few Updates on me.. ONE: I'm currently twenty-two weeks (five and a half months) pregnant, this will be my FIFTH CHILD (kind of sheds light on just one of the reasons why I suddenly needed an impromptu vacation from writing.. Yes?) and I've been pretty much been either nauseas, exhausted, sleeping (yet still exhausted no matter how much I slept), hungry, achy, cranky and well, the list could go on with why I could not get my brain to cooperate with letting me write even when there was stuff that I wanted to write or planned to write, my brain.. literally... would... not.. play... nice... and it still had to be kicked into a nuclear reactor and Hulked up for me to have the energy and power of something resembling thought process to even accomplish as much as just this Author's Note.. Now as I write, I know after I complete my witty A/N, that I'll probably be sitting here staring at the rest of the (blank) screen, wondering just what the heck to write for the actual story that I'm trying so desperately to power through writing before this kick in hormones turns against me and I end up slumped over my desk waking up to realize that I never made it past this point (and that I've been asleep all day but EVERYONE knows better than to wake a sleeping pregnant ME by now, the first few weeks of my biting heads off taught everyone well.. but that's beside the point)...

**A/N: WARNINGS: **Expect: Grammatical Errors of the millionth degree, occassional missing letters from words or added letters to words (my laptop is NEW but for some reason the keyboard doesn't always register when I hit a key, especially vowels for some reason OR it will toss in a letter at times that I'm generally 99% certain that I never hit.. and I am not going to ask anyone to subject themselves to proofreeding, editing or Beta'ing something that I know is going to be loaded with errors that may or may not be caused by faulty equipment (or may or may not be because of my lack of brain right now)..).. **SPOILERS** for Season 10 Episodes 1-19 and possibly beyond maybe even for Season 11 and/or even 12.. Lots of potientially Upsetting, Triggering and/or Offensive GRAPHIC content and topics such as: Multiple Past Rapes of a Main Character when they were still a child, Past Rapes of the same Main Character after they reached adulthood, Hell Memories, HalLucifer, Hellucinations, lots of painful revelations, neglect and (mutiple variations of) abuse of Main Characters when they were still children, John Winchester's A+ parenting at its "finest", Mary Winchester is NOT a Saint either but at least she will try to make up for how the consequences of her mistakes ended up on the shoulders of her sons in ways that JOHN never really attempted to do.. also Mary will eventually kick John's ass.. Crowley is NOT who "He" seems and totally not an actual bad "guy" or Crowley isn't really going soft, Crowley is just tired of trying to keep up appearences... Lots of Ghost, Monster, Witch, Angel and Demon drama, as well as Purgatory, Heaven and Hell DRAMA.. TONS of "FAMILY" DRAMA... Charlie is WAY too bubbly and excited with her "Hunting is the life." outlook, that's not very cool to some people who have actually seen what "The Life" can do and has done to people but the person it isn't cool with is too good of a person to say anything and burst her bubble, of course that might not always be the case and that person might finally get fed up and go off on her (for her own good... mostly.. But maybe also so she'll get the point that Hunting is NOT "magical" and "fun" and "filled with whimsy", it is NOT "The Life" and Charlie seriously needs to get that through her head before hunting ends up killing her or worse, irrevecably turning her into something that she never wanted to be and that she can never (fully?) come back from)... Bobby thinks just about everyone is an idjit, poor Kevin agrees with Bobby's assessment.. Linda Tran is everyone's mom.. So many BUNKER FIC senarios in this.. Curtain Fic in SO MANY WAYS.. **BLANKET WARNING : **for anything and/or everything else that may be considered: heartbreaking, traumatizing, uncomfortable, squick factor, Upsetting, Triggering and/or Offensive in any and/or every way...

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE pay heed to ALL of the WARNINGS and do not accuse me of not warning for something when a "surprise" happens, and/or doesn't happen (See the BLANKET WARNING?.. That is WARNING for ANYTHING and/or EVERYTHING.. Seriously ANYTHING and/or EVERYTHING that could, possibly, might, will happen)

Please do not leave flaming reviews, remarks or PM's..

Obviously this will (probably) be slightly to mostly AU since no one can kniw the future of an ongoing Series like Supernatural..

I'm going to try to keep each Chapter relativly short (A/N's not withstanding as I already know my A/N's can get rather lengthy.. I'm talking about actual CONTENT in each Chapter.)

Now.. Onto the story...

**~0~**

Dean knew something was up.. He was many things but born last night wasn't one of those many things..

And until he figured out what it was, he was sticking to Sam like glue so he could maybe catch his little brother in whatever lies he was telling and whatever secrets he was trying to keep..

After all, Sam had almost died for those secrets and lies once already and Dean wasn't about to let there be a second time.

First off, Dean figured out that Sam hadn't burned The Book of The Damned, a quick inspection of the cabin's fireplace had told him that much.

But if Sam had ignored Dean and hadn't burned that book, then, what had Sam done with the book?

Well, Dean knew that his brother would be anything but forthright about any of it if Dean were to tell Sam that he knew about the book not being torched.

Dean went threw al of The Men of Letters' files, knowing that Sam had been threw those same files, to see what all Sam had been attempting to use for decripting The Book of The Damned.

That's when he found out that what Wether Box had been holding and soon after he realized that the Codex from within that box was nowhere in The Bunker.

Dean had discovered one answer so far. Just what else was Sam hiding from him?


	2. Chapter 2

"Alive and Unbroken."

"Chapter 2."

**A/N: **Oh my gosh.. Chapter 2 so soon? Looks like the pregnancy hormones are finally starting to let me have my brain back!

Let's get this puppy on the road!

**~0~**

She tugged at her chains but it was proving just as fruitless as the last four hundred times she had tried to pull at them.. The shackles and chains were Concecrated Iron, so her magic wouldn't do her any good... Sam Winchester would pay for this...

Eventually..

Well, when she finally got free..

Okay... Well, maybe now she was begininng to see her son's point about the Winchesters.

Had she not complained about her son falling prey to the exact same thing she had fallen prey to? She had underestimated the Winchesters and now she was just as much their "bitch" as she had accused her son of being. Perhaps her son had been more wise than she had given him credit for as he was currently alive, free and ruling hell while she was in chains and without any allies never mind a Kingdom.

Now came an existential quandry of morality... Did she still want Fergus dead now that she sees, at least somewhat, what it's like to be in his shoes?

**~0~**

**A/N:** There's a reason for me putting Rowena in this Chapter.. Also... She MIGHT be having a change of heart about wanting Crowley dead...


	3. Chapter 3

"Alive and Unbroken."

"Chapter 3."

**~0~**

Cass didn't know who to worry over more, Dean, Sam or himself.

Ever since getting his Grace back he was experiencing "symptoms"... Yes, they were things Angels could do, but when they CHOSE to, they weren't just something that fell out of nowhere and landed in an unprepared Angels lap.

The accidental mind reading was the worst "symptom" by far. He had already seen so much (too much) in Sam's mind back when he was healing Sam from the still linguring effects of The Trials as well as those that arose from Gadreel and Crowley invading then vacating Sam's mind and body.

But what he was getting from Sam's mind was worse now than it had been back then, and seeing as how there was a lot of bad chaotically swimming around in Sam's mind and memories, that was saying a lot.

And then there was Dean. Aparently Dean's time as a demon had really flipped some switches that even Dean hadn't known he had to flip. Dean's mind right now was a mess of swirling darkness and fear and panic. Not much different from Sam's mental state in all honesty, excpet Sam's had always been linguring there for as long as Cass had known him and now it was worse, even worse than the mess that was in Dean's head. And Cass doesn't know if it's because of all of the memories from Sam's time in The Cage slowly flittering back in or if it's other repressed memories that Sam is just now uncovering in his psyche that he doesn't know how to deal with. All Cass knows is that both brothers are not doing very well, but they both maintain their masks of stoisism without fail, unless they think no one is looking, then they might let their masks slip.

And him?... Well, he's having surges and decreases in power, he feels like an overloaded circuit breaker and he knows that whatever sliver of his Grace he managed to get back, isn't going to last. It's just as unviable now as all of the Graces that had been stolen to keep him alive.

He's a toy with a dying yet irreplacable battery.

And he doesn't know who to worry for more.

Dean who could once again become a demon and go on a killing spree, if The Mark takes a firm hold once more.

Sam who could wind up a victim of The Mark's need for blood or his own mentality that keeps badgering him into thoughts of self-harm and suicide.

Or himself for the predicament he is in, the predicament he will be leaving his friends and possibly the world in if he dies before he can help his friends fix each other and fix themselves.

What happens to Angels when they die?

He doesn't remember what happened to him each time he died, he still doesn't really know how he came back from those times either.

But for the first time in his existence he is afraid of his own apparent mortality and he doesn't know how to break the news to his friends who were so happy that he was "back" to himself after he got his Grace back. He doesn't know how to tell them that all of their hopes and happiness had been a waste. That he's still on borrowed time...


End file.
